Hacked email

Email got hacked today. A message was sent to everyone in my book. Many of whom I don't even talk to any more. One of whom I wasn't supposed to be talking to. Yeah, a link about viagra was sent to the ex. I broke radio silence accidently. Maybe I was putting the energy of wanting to talk to him so badly out there, that my email sent him something. I just knew that when I walked in today that I wouldn't hear from him...Day 5 of radio silence. And what do you know. He had responded to an email that I didn't send him on purpose. Saying exactly what I needed to hear...that he missed me. Well, it just said, miss you. Not sure if that counts. But it was enough that he offered that information. The whole last 5 days I've been wondering if he even missed me, if he was even having a hard time not calling/texting/emailing me. And when I got in today, there was an email from him...saying that it was great to hear from me and that he missed me. Of course, there is that Nickleback song to consider, Lips of an Angel...those two loved each other and missed each other too, but were in relationships with other people.

I feel the story of my life is heartbreak. I just want to be with my ex and yet we have tried for years to make it work. That's how come we are now on this "break" that I don't know when it will end.

Oh, and to make my life even more sugary and sweet, not one of my friends has called/texted/emailed me to see how I was doing. Everyone is so caught up in their own lives. And I am the first person guilty of that. Guess I deserve that kind of treatment. It's Karmic. My computer, paint brush and cat are my best friends. I should shed the need for human contact. We are all essentially alone anyway. Yep, I will shed the need for human contact so that it is not a need. Haha, I guess that's what I've got to learn on this break (up)...how to be alone and how to be okay with being alone. I mean, I get energetically we are all connected and are one with everything. But I need to learn to be okay with that cosmic connection and not the physical connection. I need to let go.

BTW: Just got my first round of books in last night. Got addicted to Dexter so didn't have a chance to go through them yet. But will attempt to read and update tonight!