Failure

So, my first night of Singledom and attempts of feeling like a brilliant, confident woman was a complete failure.

To begin with I was wasted. In fact, I may have a slight drinking problem. It was out of control. I had probably about 4 shots of vodka before we even left for the club. Went to the club and was immediately asked about the new ex. Dagger in the heart. Then after maybe two songs I recognized the girl to the right of me was a girl the ex had made out with when we were on a break. Now, I can't be upset that he made out with her (we weren't together), but I can be upset that I had to see her. And I wasn't nice to her. At all. Apparently I bought her a shot though, though I don't remember doing that. I also don't remember making out with a guy that went with us, then throwing up on his shoes, and being brought home, where I continued to throw up out the car window. Yeah, real classy. What a failure. Though I must have done something right (Have no idea what, maybe he liked my art or we had a great conversation before I proceeded to throw up. Maybe he noticed that my left breast is as big as my head.) Who knows...but he called a different friend that was out with us last night and asked for my number. Brilliant. Too bad he is really skinny. I mean, really skinny. I would crush him. Whatever. It's not like I'm looking to get into a relationship right now, but maybe he can be the one I try my tactics on. Make it research and educational. I would be upfront about it though, let him know that I don't want anything serious. It's a thought. I'll have to consider it. Haha. I'm so far a head of myself though. I'm not even sure that's something he is interested in. Maybe he just wanted to let me know about the art gallery manager he knows. Who knows. But I feel like my attempts at being classy suck. How humiliating.

My books are en route though. Hopefully they will give me some direction.